So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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