Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize