First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
