Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
