You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
