normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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