sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
