i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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