You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He better not be in your backpack
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Randomize
