you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude i'm inner monologue high
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
