That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
