Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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