she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
