I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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