I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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