I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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