Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
