there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
