So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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