yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize