i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
