Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
