i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
