11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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