ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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