Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize