my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
