I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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