she was so not down for the gang bang
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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