Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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