nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
