I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
