did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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