I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize