hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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