We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
