I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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