Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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