so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
