i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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