I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
