Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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