I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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