u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
