You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love having hate sex.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
