and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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