conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
