it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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