ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize