why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
