ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize