Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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