I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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