I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize