I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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