Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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