I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize