Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
