If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
