oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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