Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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