You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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