woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
