you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
