you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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