i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
