Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
