Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
