We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
