I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All the doctor said was why
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
