I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
