just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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