she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
