Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
