your room smells of hookers.
And success
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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