is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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