Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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