TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
