One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Bring me that man meat
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
