I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
