I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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