if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
